Philosophical fairy tale of the consciousness

Deep inside of us there is nothing else but what we learned from the outside of us - from someone else - but we were probably too young, too drunk, too excited or a lucky mixture of them to remember. This is how we have a consciousness within. Wise teachers should cope with that, or at least dress up like Lara Pulver.

HOW TO: get real teachers and build up a stronger Italy

Italian teenagers are claiming for well prepared and charismatic teachers with real life experience, and a proper education to get a job without leaving the country. Actually Italians could achieve both sending them in jail instead of school.

Where not to be for homosexual-chastity, religions would never grow up rich and strong.

According to Freud friendship and team-projects are the ways we take to sublimate homosexuality so: sex is the way we take to don't screw up the world spending our spare time making plans. According to this I can argue a couple of things:
1- Being so rich and powerful, Church needs to sublimate a lot of homosexuality and carry on with the sex phobia stuff;
2- The logical consequence of the Freud's thought is: to have a lot of friends on Facebook must be the sublimation of watching porn-websites.

Multitasking 2012

Statistically an ambidextrous is a right handed that had to learn how to masturbate with the left while surfing porn sites with the right.

DARWIN & LOVE

As far as I know, eventually women desire more protection from their partners. This is rather a difficult issue for the man because he has to face a problem she can't explain better, but still she'll never back down.

So the man may think “Don't I provide her with food, a house, a car alarm, health care, life insurance and so on? Do I need to earn more money?”. After this purpose, a man could get down to work towards a promotion, but she will just complain more and this path ends up in an annoying misunderstanding.

On second thought, a male may figure out he doesn't look brave enough so that she may feel scared hanging around the city. After this idea, you'll see him in gym pretending to be or to become a tough guy, but again she wont stop complaining.

Actually it all comes down to this: women are genetically programmed to make a mountain out of a molehill. Protection is the evolution of love-desire which is the evolution of sexual-desire. If we Come up with a solution for the latter, therefore the former will end up disappearing.

Were the males to be Mechanical Woodpeckers, women would never feel unprotected.


-Klara Murnau's picture-

WERE SEX TO BE POLITIC, ITALY WOULD HAVE LUBE INSTEAD OF GOD

Fisting is a rather weird kink. The first time is painful, the second time it's still painful but you are learning how to take it, from the third time on you are asking for more. That's why Italians elected a prime minister 3 times whose hand they wouldn't hold because he fisted an entire nation.

Despite coming in for a lot of criticism he lubed us with women, smiles and jokes. One of his jokes is him breaking up a FAO's conference about the hungry in he world coming up with “Well, the meeting is over, let's go to eat altogether”. You are sweetly taken in by the lies and get fucked by a man who has plenty of women and makes you laugh.

Right now we have Mario Monti, the new prime minister imposed by UE, but Italians are pissed-off pretending like “We didn't elect him!” but, were democracy to be catching on in Italy, the Church would pay taxes. It doesn't. Facing reality, we don't suffer the lack of democracy more than the lack of lube and Mario Monti can't even smile.

Speaking about lubes, I bring up last but not least the Pope issue. Just after his election it came up that Ratzinger was responsible for covering up paedophile priests all around the world during the John Paul II era. Somewhere I read that were he not to be elected Pope, which means Head of State and immunity, he would be processed in the USA for such a crime with a tremendous amount of money lost for the Church. Thus God comes across as a much more effective lube than floosies and comedians.

Therefore politicians need God and, because God needs to shine and gold is what shines more, he can count on politicians. What do they have in common? Both fuck people, pretend to be good-Shepherds and fight against homosexuality. Thus Italy ends up being like the “120 days of Sodoma” of De Sade: “Chick on the pillow, ass up in the air and 10 Paternoster for your sins Italy”.

-Picture by Tico Sugar-

LOCK 'N LOAD MAIDS!

Were the world to be ruled by women, we would have only one week per month of war. And it would be like: “Well girls, from now on, we are not speaking to Afghanistan!” (Daniele Luttazzi)

How do they canalize such energy?

In the wake of the research of groups of American scientists, it turned out that “cleaning things” is addictive. The test was as follows:

Firstly: Give to a group of 154 wives (154 is too weird not to be true) 154 vacuum cleaner.

Secondly: Give to their 154 husbands, not telling to the wives, 154 red laser pointers.

Finally: Scream as if you are Leonidas “Women, there's plenty of ants in that room. Clean it!”

After 10 hours of raging cleaning job, no wives were tired. Even though the wrists of the males are well trained since adolescence thanks to Lara Croft's boobs, after 10 hours of painful swirling of red laser dots 154 dots were tired but one. The cleaning women leader went to the last exhausted red dot standing and like Braveheart sad: “I'll let you live, thus you can tell others what you have seen!”